Bar Mitzvah on the Mainline

This a very special entry in my blog for me. I’m not even sure I know how to adequately describe why.

My story is actually not my story at all. It’s Noah’s.

I met Noah as everyone was coming together to celebrate his Bar Mitzvah. It’s the coming of age, in the Jewish faith. I have been to quite a few but this one had a few notable twists. For one, Noah is Chinese and was adopted by two Jewish  men.  Secondly because this was a Secular Jewish service and I’d never been to one before.

Noah’s Bar Mitzvah presentation began and as he spoke I took in the faces that surrounded him.  There was so much love in that room.  Everyone listened and laughed and looked on with pride.  I want to share an excerpt from Noah’s presentation.  These are his words.

“Let me tell you a bit of my life story:

In case you didn’t notice, I have two dads, so my personal adoption story is a little unusual.  First my father Glen (who I call Dad) completed my legal adoption from China.  Because of the laws there and in the U.S. he had to do it as a single parent. But like my sister, Eve, I was given my Abba’s (that is, my other father, Youval’s name) to show that he was also going to be my father.  About 7 years ago, when the laws in Pennsylvania changed to allow it, they did a second parent adoption, and so now they are both Eve’s and my legal parents.

I was born in the city of Chungsha, in the province of Hunan, China, in the year 1997.  I have no memory of my biological parents because I was only a day or two old when I was taken to an orphanage. The day that I was born must have been very sad because my biological mom couldn’t take care of me, probably because of the one-child rule.  She took me in the middle of the night to a hospital and left me on the front steps, knowing I would be found quickly and taken care of.  From the hospital, I was taken to a local orphanage.  I personally have no memory whatsoever of my life in the orphanage, where I lived until the age of 2 and a half.

The one-child rule in China dates back to 1978 and states that a family is not allowed to have more than onechild.  The Chinese government made that law because of overpopulation, and they wanted to slow down the population growth rate.”

My assistant and I made eye contact and I was relieved to see I was not the only one fighting back tears.  He was honoring his mother and acknowledging a law that many of us in the US have a hard time understanding. Noah understood this as her sacrifice and I could not help but think that if she could see him today she would be relieved and really proud. Not only was Noah an intelligent  and handsome young man, but one of  good heart and compassion. I think she would be happy to know he was not only well taken care of, but respected and loved.

I mean really loved.  By everyone I met.

I could go on and on about how special I think this family is or how fortunate I feel for being able to get to know a little about them.  This is Noah’s story, but  when he spoke at his Mitzvah, he became a man, a Jewish Man who was now a part of my life as well as everyone else who came to celebrate that day with him.  This may not be the day his story began, but it did mark a very special beginning.

ברכות נח

Mazel Tov, Noah. I can’t wait to see where you take your life!

Glen and Youval did a beautiful job organizing some fabulous talent and I think they deserve some mention here.  I would highly recommend any of these people if you are considering an event in the Philadelphia Area.

The private party was held at a wonderful restaurant in Villanova, PA (the food and service was phenomenal) Azie on Main

The cake was amazing. Truly.  It tasted even better than it looked.  Aux Petit Delices

The magician delighted adults and children with his wonderful magic and humor.   Kevin Bethea

The face painting was out of this world.  “Gemstone” of Peanutbutter is pictured above and her painting took on a surreal three dimensional look. It was pretty fabulous.

If you would like more information about Secular Judaism, Glen was kind enough to share this link with me: www.shj.org